Prior to hiking Multnomah Falls in Oregon, I needed some instant energy. And since me and caffeinated coffee are not friends, there would have to be an option two. Option two was donuts. Truth be told, donuts are not my BFF either, or rather the greasiness isn’t a chum. But, since Portland was the home of the iconic Voodoo Doughnuts it was a must. And little did I know they had Dirty Old Bastards.
Voodoo Doughnuts is one of the most renowned donut shops featuring creative, and sometimes vulgar, versions of these delicacies.
We arrived just after nine on a Sunday to a line of approximately 30 people. Not too bad for a weekend morning.
The wait, which ended up being only twenty minutes, gave us time to make our selections from the side of the building. This was only a small portion of what was offered.
We bought five donuts, for the two of us. Don’t judge. I did pass on the cock-n-balls. Again, don’t judge.
The bacon maple bar was a shoe in, I had heard the rumors that this one was a number one seller. Not in my book. Sometimes bacon does not go with everything.
The Marshall Mathers couldn’t be passed up, strictly because I think Eminem is a lyrical genius and who could resist a donut covered in M&Ms? That is genius too.
The Voodoo Doll was stuffed with raspberry jelly and had a pretzel stake. The Dirty Snowball was a contender for the favorite because it was loaded with marshmallow topping, coconut and peanut butter.
But, then there was a vulgar surprise, the Old Dirty Bastard which was covered in crumbled Oreo cookies (in my top five of all-time favorite cookies).
I ate a quarter of it in its entirety, then picked off all of the Oreos from the top of the rest and ate them too.
Even though this was amongst the trendiest donut spots, five donuts cost only nine bucks. And they come in a pretty pink box.
Remember to bring cash, that’s all they take.
Too many donuts later and my heart was beating fast, hands were jittery and my belly queasy. Totally worth it.
Which Voodoo Doughnut would you have ordered?
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